That which we treasure... a mix tape.

“The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've started to make a tape... in my head... for Laura. Full of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that makes her happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done.”
“High Fidelity” – 2000 – Touchstone pictures

The mix tape. Or just the “Mix.” We’ve all made them. Usually for another person or just to remind us of that person. Maybe it’s a particular mood we want to capture, or an event we’d like to assign to memory through song. One further way to personalize something, make it ours that much more. The ladies were my subject usually. Whenever I became enamored with a female, I never had the courage to just approach her and see what happens. I would give her a mix tape and hope she “got it.” I was telling her things that I couldn’t say, what I was too shy or cowardly to in the first place. It was a way for me to put myself out there, but not really. She could look into things as she saw fit, and take things accordingly. Either she could ignore my feelings or it would sweep her off her feet.

Normally, I got the former.

Ever since sixth grade, mix tapes were my one weapon that I thought were special. There were the classic, not-so subtle titles I chose most often. The Smoking Popes “I need you around” or “Everything I Do, I Do it for you” by Bryan Adams for starters. Aerosmith’s “Angel” was one I was particularly proud of myself for choosing, once upon a time. Naturally, I would mix these songs with favorite artists of the intended, so as to keep them interested and not make the tape so “I want you” heavy. To me, the mix tape was that final, declaring dialogue at the end of a film where the man and the woman finally come clean and run into each other’s arms, to the final song on his mix tape for her. Too bad I hadn’t figured it was the movies; and that shit don’t happen in real life. The quote I included at the beginning outlines what you should do… a good start to get worked up to a final, crashing, powerful finish. Kind of like screaming, grab-the-headboard-sex.


Regardless, I’m glad I made those tapes. Each one was special for the intended, and in most cases even though nothing good came from them, I hope at least they liked the music. And it was a gauge for me about them. One girl didn’t like the oldies music I had put on there, so far as calling it “gay.”

Bitch done got kicked to the curb. Not just for that though, but I knew then and there it was the beginning of the end.

So now I’m dating a wonderful girl, but here’s the problem. I haven’t made her a mix. It’s been a way for me to get the girl, I don’t know what to put on there now that I’ve already got her. I don’t have anything worth putting on there because I’ll tell her myself. I don’t need someone else to say it for once. It would be such a different tape for me, because this isn’t about my feelings for once, she knows those. It’s about her, me, where are, and where we’re going. And that’s a lot to encapsulate in 17 songs.
Yes, yes mix tapes at the most basic are a way for one person to expose someone else to new music. My non-flirting (at least in his own mind) friend D does this. He made my other male friend K a mix tape. Does this mean he wants to engage in hot man-sex with him? Nope. Unless there’s something they’re not telling me, but as far as I know they’re both straight as arrows. REGARDLESS of purpose, a mix tape is a collection of songs that one by one are great, but together form a musical Voltron. I ask that folks respect the ability it takes to put a good mix together. And thanks for all the FALSE IMAGERY AS TO THE POWER OF A MIX TAPE, HOLLYWOOD. GEEZ.