It's a tricky, tricky thing!

Imagine if you will; you're blowing off some steam hanging out with your nearest and dearest, when you see her. You don't even know her name, but for whatever aesthetic reason you want to approach her and get to know who she is. You'd like to go out on a date, have a dance, whatever. But you've only just seen her; and she has no idea who you are. (I speak only from the perspective of a heterosexual male trying to pick up a lady; the other permutations I know not.) Do you approach? Do you take a stab at Awesome? Or do you risk creepy factor and a police beatdown? Rejection followed by the eyeroll? Well, just go over there and use the tried and true-

"Hey girl, what YO name IS?"

Well, not really. At least, for the love of God, not THAT.

Pickup lines aside, isn't the scenario above pretty common? Taking a shot at approaching a girl, much less having her NOT throw her drink in your face or worse yet, make you feel creepy just for saying hi? I've seen lawyer douchebags pick up on cute girls with the silliest things- one guy used a stick figure with a huge set of hooters; he got a phone number. If I pulled that, know what I'd get? A slap in the face for being so damn arrogant, uncouth, and cocky (maybe not with those exact words, though). Although in his position I guess it's rationalized as confidence. And that he looks like a lawyer. Or investment banker. Either way, not my usual attire. I'm more than willing to accept that though since that is the image I'm purveying when I go out to relax.

A guy who is funny, charming, witty... none of it (really) matters if the visual representation isn't there, at least not in the Night Life. It seems an elementary concept, but do we really want a girl who'll judge based on looks so we don't even get our foot in the door? To be fair, does a girl really want a guy who doesn't think enough to dress well when he steps out the door? In clubs and bars, usually we lose out because we can't be heard. Oh boy, that's about 70% of the battle right there.

From a natural perspective, I guess it's just how things are. Birds and insects have their own ways of attracting a mate; plumage or dancing. Hell, if you think about it humans are just following the rules. Tribal peoples! Ours is just a different side of the same coin.

I've heard a number of places are poor situations to try and chat up a female- the gym, church, family parties *banjo*... but even at bars, house parties, the grocery store one can talk to someone they're interested in but it is still a tricky bit to pull off! Mainly because in a situation like this, it's the first impression that definitely matters and to be honest ladies, would you rather be approached by this:




or this?




'Nuff said! Pass the hair product?

Identity? What Identity?

Anyone who's been out with me has come to see that when I drink, a couple things might happen; I'll either pass out early, or somebody else shows up at the party. And by somebody else I mean a whole 'nother way I operate. Personality wise. Far as I can tell, there's Jamal(?) my south-side influenced black male personality that nearly made my friends crash the automobile from laughter. In addition to him, the more prevalent personality would have to be... Captain Awesome. I don't even know where he came from, but after imbibing alcohol I become a lot funnier (according to witnesses), a lot more shameless (if that were possible) and a lot more perceptive/intelligent. Who knew?
As far as drunken personalities go, it could be a lot worse.


"Drunk lips speak sober truths" as the saying goes. I know a lot of people who put their misbehavior onto drinking. Not an excuse, but a reason. At least in my case, I've never been terrible, I get a good conversation and a dance, but never anything to do with a walk of shame the next day. But these are our inner ids, right? Our basest most natural instincts and impulses? Where can we draw the line between who we are and what we are, if that makes any sense? After drinking everything falls down, true colors can show. But then again, it's also our choices in action that can define our selves... each choice being a chiseled piece off the raw marble block that constitutes ourselves. Not like it's a big deal, but I find myself combining more and more of the Captain into my conscious, sober self. Knowing what I can do is starting to affect what I am willing to do, apparently.

Meh, if anything I guess deep down I'm a fearless, intelligent, funny person. I can live with that.