It's been awhile, no?

Sorry, PleasAndThankYous. I've been a bad maintainer. A really important piece of information came from Andre 3000 of Outkast; in an interview he was asked about being able to write while in a relationship, and he said he couldn't write when he was happy. Everything's all roses and gumdrops, whiskers on kittens. That makes sense, you get handed this big ball of globulous happy, and the handy razors of cynicism and snark are laid aside because the happy is good as-is. Hence, I was happy, kinda lazy, and finally found something worth getting snarky about.

I'm 27, soon to be 28. Some associates from college have since gotten married, some friends are in long-term basically married relationships, and for the past two years or so I've been in and out of dating after a relationship for 3 years. Anyway, being on both sides of the relationship fence gives me some unique perspectives to work with.

Now don't worry this won't turn into a "boo-hoo why can't I find anyone" blog. I do that enough OFF the net with friends over IM or coffee. What makes me think of this is a conversation I had with a friend where she thought a friend was settling, in the sense that the guy she was/is dating was not good enough for her. Not even touching on the issues I have with that kind of reasoning (I was a fan of Ducky being the winner at the end of "Pretty in Pink" m'self, go figure)it is an interesting situation those of us in/past our "quarter-life-crisis" find ourselves.

The date-ee's reasoning was she was getting older, and she had to keep an open mind. I've had other friends my age say the same thing. They realize Prince Charming/Rogueish Pirate/Edward Cullen doesn't exist, and while their standards haven't lowered, they've become more realistic.

I've always been a big proponent of getting what you want, and if that changes and you're ok with that, awesome. But changing only because you feel you're getting too old to be choosy or whatever, that's bull. It wouldn't be what you want, what you're looking for, and is misleading both yourself and the other person which is way worse than just rejection. That's how people spend multiple years with someone they're only kind of into, and maybe break up suddenly or cheat.

But that's where being Twentysettled comes in. You feel you have to find someone else out of necessity because you're getting out of your twenties soon, and "ohmygoodnessImightgrowupoldandalonebecauseIhavenotfoundanyoneyetwtfomgbbqamIgoingto". I'll admit, I've had my moments too but choosing to be with someone half-assed out of some ridiculous feeling of necessity? No thanks.