On playing nice, seeing a bigger picture...

Altruist -
a person unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others, right?

Egoist -
a self-centered or selfish person


When someone finds something they want, what they really really want, they'd make it happen, right? By any means necessary? Is it worth risking everything? The hopeless romantic in me says yes, but that's conditioning from years and years of movies. The fact of the matter is life does not follow structure - (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_structure.)

Nothing necessarily finishes happily when the credits roll, as there are no credits. We have to face our consequences over and over again. The grand dramatic gesture, followed by a moment of success, then a resolution that everything ends happily? Nope, not what happens. That grand gesture works, but here's the secret; you're not John Cusack. I know, I know! Shock and amazement! Reality and circumstances don't always fall into place.

Where am I going with this? Extremes don't win out, and in the human condition we compromise for a grander purpose sometimes. Maybe it's avoiding making something difficult even harder on everyone involved (heh, almost typed "love" there) and sucking it up, avoiding the pitfalls and consequences as best we can by compromising what we put ourselves through to get us there in the first place. No belaboring a point, no beating a dead horse, accepting whatever happens and just moving on as quickly as possible. The higher calling of avoiding lots of tears, lots of awkward silences, causing the person we care about pain by making things hard for them; being selfish for our own desires about them. Counterproductive to caring about the person, isn't it? By letting them go, do we show how much we really value them by honoring their own desires, sacrificing our own? There's a part of me that says it's a two-way street, but what can I say... I'm hopeless when it comes to giving up a piece of myself if I think it'd make something easier for someone I care about. I'm a big boy, and in the big picture none of this is that terrible, but that doesn't make that pill any easier to swallow.

I'm sure there's a meme for this somewhere...

Last week I watched "High Fidelity" again, and if you recall from a few years ago I wrote - http://pleasandthankyous.blogspot.com/2005/12/that-which-we-treasure-mix-tape.html

Here's the deal: they do all these lists in the movie about music and I started thinking and wondered how a soundtrack would be to various stages/aspects of my life up to this point. Major events, not so major, idiosyncracies I never fixed... whatever. Combine it with some choice photos and I might be onto something, kinda how "Garden State" worked with its own soundtrack(still one of the best mixings of music/movie IMO, next to "Kill Bill").

Without further adieu, here we go:



Birth - "Circle of Life" from the Lion King, the non-Elton John version (boomshuffle only had that though)

Growing up Montage - "Three" From "Saturday Morning Cartoons" (Yes, the Blind Melon version), "Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor (Cheesy!)

16th Birthday - "Freshmen" by the Verve Pipe (1st song I heard at 12 AM, Feb 19th)

17, when I got my license - "Hey Driver" by Lucky Boys Confusion

When Dad passed away - "My Father's Eyes" by Eric Clapton/Amazing Grace on bagpipes

Standing on a dock, looking over the atlantic ocean in D.C. during our 8th grade trip - "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis

18 and graduation from High School - "School's Out"/"Yesterday"/"It's so hard to say goodbye to Yesterday" -Alice Cooper/The Beatles/Boyz II Men (respectively)

Going away to college - "Ready to Go" - Republica

My study abroad - "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys

The numerous women where I'd failed:

High School -
"King of Wishful thinking" - Fine Young Cannibals
"Hole in my Soul" - Aerosmith
"What it Takes" - Aerosmith
"Angel" - Aerosmith
(anyone see a pattern here, I was a BIT of a sad sack back in the day)
"Always" - Bon Jovi

Basically my whole high school experience-
"Creep" - Radiohead

College -
"She's got a girlfriend now" - Reel Big Fish(?)
"I walk Alone" - Oleander
"Here I Go Again" - White Snake
"Bartender" - T-Pain

Post-College - (Non-failing years; see the pattern?)

"Sexual Healing" - Marvin gaye
"Not a Virgin Anymore" - Poe
"Best of me" - Starting Line
"Collide" - Howie Day
"Just what I needed" - The Cars
"Better that we Break" - Maroon 5
"Gotta get through this" - Daniel Bedingfield
"If you're not the one" - Daniel Bedingfield
"I miss you" - Incubus
"Best of You" - Foo Fighters
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" - The Police
"Just my imagination" - The Temptations
"I'll be there" - Jackson 5
"You really got a hold on me" - Smokey Robinson
"She is Beautiful" - Andrew W.K.
"Something about us" - Daft Punk


..... Maybe I'll just cut it off there...?

When I go to Anime Central:
"Pure Imagination" - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (yes, the Gene Wilder version!)

First post- College Job:
"I don't wanna work, I just want to bang on the drum all Day" - Todd Rundgren
"Hell's Bells" - AC/DC

Next(Better) Post-College Job - "Amazing" - Aerosmith


Currently:
"Good Life" - Kanye West (Summertime chi? Totally there!)
"Homecoming" - Kanye West (Fireworks on Lake Michigan)


As for my Nearest and Dearest - "The Last Spartan" from Halo... it's how we roll.


Random Debauchery:
"Shake ya Tailfeather" - Nelly and Co.
"It's Getting Hot in Herre" - Nelly
"This is how we do it" - Montell Jordan
"Shout" - Otis Redding
"It don't matter" - Akon


There's always some musical association as far back as I can tell. "How do you talk to an angel" and "If you go" even, but those were way before I saw what I did there. I've been making mix tapes since I was 6, and much like that Boyz II Men video I used to always feel someone expressed my feelings even better than I did. And the harmony, rhyme, musical ability they had over mine didn't hurt either. It's such a weird thing when I sit down and look at how affected I've been all these years through all the fads and trends, there's usually always something from anywhere, any time, that will dig itself into my brain and just sit there, triggering the next time I get nostalgic. Go figure! I was once told that music is soundwaves and objective; we form the associations but those aren't necessarily true all the time (see: Minor scales). In some way, one could say with these songs I'll write my own story... even if they're not with my own words.



In case anyone wanted to listen to some of the tracks above, thanks to boomshuffle I can at least provide an idea of what it'd sound like :)