I never really got out while I was in college. I would go to the occasional kegger, maybe a house party but I wasn't a partygoer by any real definition of the term.

HOWEVER. I like to consider myself a pretty observant dude and from those few times I did put on my brand new shirt I came away with a whole SLEW of information.

1) GENTLEMEN: We really need to figure out something ELSE to wear. C'mon, seriously. Girls have an assortment of tube tops, halters, blouses, nighties to wear to clubs so must we ALWAYS go with that button down/jeans combo? Bouncers, I can understand not letting in dudes with t-shirts, but we need some leeway!

2) LADIES: Quit with the girl-girl action. You're making it less hot. And you're totally ripping off action from bisexuals/lesbians.

3) THE GUY THAT ALWAYS HAS SHIRT UNBUTTONED:
-a) Shave your chest
-b) Stop. Just. Stop
4) DJs: Have more than an hours' worth of music ready, eh? REPLAYS SUCK
5) EVERYBODY: Seriously. Walk around the dance floor. If people are shaking their groove thing don't be idiots and start shoving people out of the way so you can drink your brain killer of the night. It's annoying as all hell and you're an outright disrespectful turd.

Oh yeah, now I remember why I don't go out that much.