You can never look back... can you?

Just when I thought I was out...

So for the past four years, I've managed to lose contact with and/or cut off interaction with a good number of folks from my past. Now, like an itch in my back nostalgia has come and hit me hard for the past few months. I honestly don't know why I am looking, but I am finding people from my past again. At Harry Potter, I saw an old classmate. Sometimes I'll run into others on the train. Just yesterday, an old acquaintance from my dorm. It's amazing how if you stay in the same areas that no matter how much seems to change things always stay the same (to use a cliche). There's not a lot to it, though. I don't even know where to begin, much less what I'll say when it happens.

In High school, it was what college I was going to, or what neighborhood I was from. In College, the questions were what my major was, what my ACT/SAT scores were, and now that I'm graduated it's what I'm doing now and what I studied and/or where I came from. These are the questions I answer most, but it seems like the same people just at different times in our lives. One gigantic circle, having spent so much time away but now rooted back in.

And I am totally buying into it. I'm trying to maintain my current associations, reforging ones I feel I missed out on, and I don't even know why I'm contacting people again in some cases. In some ways I feel I have unfinished business. Other times, it's just curiosity or boredom. Usually the latter. Such is the way that things seem to go for me though, that no matter how far along I think I've come there's always some moment to bring me back, to shake me loose from whatever perch I've managed to hang onto. It's disturbing, comforting, and confusing as shit all at the same time. One of these days soon maybe I'll get it right and figure out where to go before I hold myself back in everything I feel I didn't do, in the days I can no longer change.