This story began March, 2008. I started working out to lose weight and get in shape when my co-worker tells me of a race... the Men's Health Urbanathlon. I normally balk at the prospect of running/racing/whatever, but there was something different. This event involved... obstacles. Marine hurdles, barricade jumping, tunnel crawling, monkey bars (!) and other kinds of ridiculous physical challenges across 3 varying distances of running legs totaling 10 miles.
Nevermind that I wanted to be on Ninja Warrior and was training as such. Nevermind that I was overweight and trying to test my skills after working out for awhile. Something clicked in my head that made this sound just so much damn fun.
I started hitting the gym in March, fast forward to October 2008. 8:04 or so A.M. and I was off, amongst maybe another 3,000+ runners.
Some quick highlights...
First obstacle: Police Barricades/culvert crawl - banged my knee, had to resort to the belly/leg swing maneuver. Took me a little bit more than maybe 40 mins. to get there, between Lower Hutchinson Field to Navy Pier... the BACK of Navy Pier.
Next: Jogging (slowly) another few miles towards... soldier field. Why? Obviously to traverse some monkey bars and crawl (some more) under a raised truck, followed by a LONG distance under a cargo net. Actually, I did the crawling THEN the monkey bars. Best part? To preserve my shoes, I inchwormed knees/elbows, resulting in terrifying small children later because my front was covered in MUD. Handy tips kids, might wanna go with light trail running shoes. Mine were not so designed for the outdoors. I killed the monkey bars when all was said and done... in amazing fashion judging by the expression of the faces on the people watching when I finally landed. It was pretty flippin' sweet to know all my training for that paid off.
Little did I realize just how much more training would come in handy, and others in short supply. I think I was around mile 6 after that, and then the shit hit the fan. Cramps. Charlie horses. I had to stop and stretch for a few minutes, walk, stretch, lather, rinse, repeat a whole mess of times. But I wasn't going to stop. I thought about quitting for all of a few seconds, but decided to fuck that notion. I was already pissed off enough that I had to walk.
Some cursing a few miles later... I was at the Marine Hurdles. Supposedly 5 feet, more like 6. I assisted a couple of folks get over the first bar by boosting their feet, but then that left me trying to do it myself. Some sage words from the marine observer next to me, and that meant I popped up. And again. And again, nearly pancaking myself by falling face flat on the wet sand. Oh yeah, these marine hurdles were set up on WET SAND. 31st street beach love.
I found I had a couple of bruises from where my arms couldn't support my weight on the beam, but somehow I managed. A photo opportunity later, I was off and crampwalking back to... soldier field.
By this point, I've tried to reserve my leg strength because all the intel for the stair climb was foggy. We didn't know how many times up and down we were to go, or how high the sections we'd be climbing were. Never being at a Bears game live before, I couldn't even guess.
3 up, 3 down. that was basically it. I couldn't even tell you how many stairs we had to go but it was of the A LOT variety. Go up, across, down, across, up, etc. until the end ramp was there and we led back out. My thighs were screaming. I hadn't done enough stairs to prepare for this, and I felt it. Finally making it back and after enjoying the view, I was forced to stretch again, as my calves and quads were quaking and shaking all over again. Yes, I had no bananas. I had no bananas that day.
The final stretch now... for tonight I would dine in hell.
Heading out of soldier field meant 2 more miles to the finish, and only a few thoughts went through my brain-
"beer"
"Not. Last. Not. Now."
"Ow..."
"Go."
I had to stop and stretch again, then I started my final two miles back to Hutchinson. Unfortunately I noticed staff from the race falling in behind me as I went, and no one else behind me. I was about to finish last. What that meant was I had to step to and start jogging a little faster... faster... and faster still.
Eventually, I got back to the beginning, the final steps at Hutchinson park. Staggering a bit, I hunkered down and jumped over the cabs on my way to the wall. Unfortunately, I was pretty much tapped out of gas at this point so I had no arm strength left and needed help getting up and over the wall. Getting over that, I had one final sprint where I heard that last remarkable beep as my timing chip crossed the finish line. With me attached to it, for a final time of 2:44:18. I had done it. After 6 months of toil, sweat, and swearing I had crossed the finish line to my first race, my first -athlon. And then I collapsed from exhaustion, much to the amusement of my friends at the finish line.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Captain Awesome and the Cockblock of DOOM!
Phenomena occurrence - 06/13/2008
A missive to those near and afar...
The natives hath gotten restless! Set into my favorite port just 2 days ago with a companion of mine, K. K is a female of Asian lineage, to one gentleman in particular I figure she has to be attractive since he's dating her. He was not present this evening though. Ale was to be imbibed, as it was Friday and there are no better times than any time the day heralds the coming weekend.
The people ebbed and flowed in and around our table and the sun fell as we continued to drink. One beer, two beer, three beer, floor. Far too early in the evening for the floor, but there was definitely enough beer. Either way, my communicator decided to ring, another companion needed to plan the logistics for the evening. Stepping away from the table, I took my leave of K.
Not even 30 seconds later, I walked back to the bar only to find there had been a change in the Matrix. K had company! An extra 150 lbs. of button-down wearing, 5'5-6 Asian/Pacific Islander had appropriated my position at the table. From what I had observed from the distance he was already pretty excitable, and while his body language read "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" K's body language read "Vagina Dentata!"
Smirking, bemused, and with a steely resolve... once more unto the breach, dear friends.
Placing my arm around K's chair, I asked how things were going. "Hey, how are you?" Smiling, K started cracking up as Secret Pacific/Asian Man (SP/AM) became even more excitable. He vigorously introduced himself, shaking hands with me when in actuality sizing me up. He informed he was celebrating with his buddy who was now a doctor, and telling Karen about the wonders of Iowa, where he lives. The Bean was his favorite thing about Chicago, and if I'd ever seen it (hah!). Then came the $5 question.
SPAM: So how do you two know each other?
CA: Oh, we're dating.
SPAM: Really? How long now?
CA: Three years... been pretty well!
SPAM: Oh wow, that's great!
He then says, something about how K was laughing at him (she was) and I then decide to step things up...
CA: It's ok, she's always brutal like that.
SPAM: Ooh, I see
CA: Yeah, she likes it rough... brutal in the sack.
*K is dying*
SPAM: Oooh! She's a tough one!
K: Yeah, I'm small but pack a lot of power!
CA: Fuckin'a, right in the middle of it she likes to smack me right across the face. RIGHT ACROSS, pow!
SAM: Damn...!
CA: Isn't that right, sweetheart?
K: *Dying from holding in the laughter*
After a few more pointless never going to get'em back minutes, SAM decided to finally catch up with his buddy and leave us be... much to raucous internal applause and a high-five from yours truly. Possibly a hug from K.
The lesson? That whole convo went 10 mins. longer than it was supposed to be because SPAM didn't want it to look that obvious he had come over to talk to K. It's ok, step off once the friend approaches. Even moreso when he is obviously talking shit to get you to leave.
And his pickup line to begin with?
"I AM A KARATE CHAMPION ON YOUTUBE!"
Yeah, and I am Captain Awesome of the Vagina Dentata. Oh wait... I guess I am.
Awesome, out.
A missive to those near and afar...
The natives hath gotten restless! Set into my favorite port just 2 days ago with a companion of mine, K. K is a female of Asian lineage, to one gentleman in particular I figure she has to be attractive since he's dating her. He was not present this evening though. Ale was to be imbibed, as it was Friday and there are no better times than any time the day heralds the coming weekend.
The people ebbed and flowed in and around our table and the sun fell as we continued to drink. One beer, two beer, three beer, floor. Far too early in the evening for the floor, but there was definitely enough beer. Either way, my communicator decided to ring, another companion needed to plan the logistics for the evening. Stepping away from the table, I took my leave of K.
Not even 30 seconds later, I walked back to the bar only to find there had been a change in the Matrix. K had company! An extra 150 lbs. of button-down wearing, 5'5-6 Asian/Pacific Islander had appropriated my position at the table. From what I had observed from the distance he was already pretty excitable, and while his body language read "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" K's body language read "Vagina Dentata!"
Smirking, bemused, and with a steely resolve... once more unto the breach, dear friends.
Placing my arm around K's chair, I asked how things were going. "Hey, how are you?" Smiling, K started cracking up as Secret Pacific/Asian Man (SP/AM) became even more excitable. He vigorously introduced himself, shaking hands with me when in actuality sizing me up. He informed he was celebrating with his buddy who was now a doctor, and telling Karen about the wonders of Iowa, where he lives. The Bean was his favorite thing about Chicago, and if I'd ever seen it (hah!). Then came the $5 question.
SPAM: So how do you two know each other?
CA: Oh, we're dating.
SPAM: Really? How long now?
CA: Three years... been pretty well!
SPAM: Oh wow, that's great!
He then says, something about how K was laughing at him (she was) and I then decide to step things up...
CA: It's ok, she's always brutal like that.
SPAM: Ooh, I see
CA: Yeah, she likes it rough... brutal in the sack.
*K is dying*
SPAM: Oooh! She's a tough one!
K: Yeah, I'm small but pack a lot of power!
CA: Fuckin'a, right in the middle of it she likes to smack me right across the face. RIGHT ACROSS, pow!
SAM: Damn...!
CA: Isn't that right, sweetheart?
K: *Dying from holding in the laughter*
After a few more pointless never going to get'em back minutes, SAM decided to finally catch up with his buddy and leave us be... much to raucous internal applause and a high-five from yours truly. Possibly a hug from K.
The lesson? That whole convo went 10 mins. longer than it was supposed to be because SPAM didn't want it to look that obvious he had come over to talk to K. It's ok, step off once the friend approaches. Even moreso when he is obviously talking shit to get you to leave.
And his pickup line to begin with?
"I AM A KARATE CHAMPION ON YOUTUBE!"
Yeah, and I am Captain Awesome of the Vagina Dentata. Oh wait... I guess I am.
Awesome, out.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
On playing nice, seeing a bigger picture...
Altruist -
a person unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others, right?
Egoist -
a self-centered or selfish person
When someone finds something they want, what they really really want, they'd make it happen, right? By any means necessary? Is it worth risking everything? The hopeless romantic in me says yes, but that's conditioning from years and years of movies. The fact of the matter is life does not follow structure - (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_structure.)
Nothing necessarily finishes happily when the credits roll, as there are no credits. We have to face our consequences over and over again. The grand dramatic gesture, followed by a moment of success, then a resolution that everything ends happily? Nope, not what happens. That grand gesture works, but here's the secret; you're not John Cusack. I know, I know! Shock and amazement! Reality and circumstances don't always fall into place.
Where am I going with this? Extremes don't win out, and in the human condition we compromise for a grander purpose sometimes. Maybe it's avoiding making something difficult even harder on everyone involved (heh, almost typed "love" there) and sucking it up, avoiding the pitfalls and consequences as best we can by compromising what we put ourselves through to get us there in the first place. No belaboring a point, no beating a dead horse, accepting whatever happens and just moving on as quickly as possible. The higher calling of avoiding lots of tears, lots of awkward silences, causing the person we care about pain by making things hard for them; being selfish for our own desires about them. Counterproductive to caring about the person, isn't it? By letting them go, do we show how much we really value them by honoring their own desires, sacrificing our own? There's a part of me that says it's a two-way street, but what can I say... I'm hopeless when it comes to giving up a piece of myself if I think it'd make something easier for someone I care about. I'm a big boy, and in the big picture none of this is that terrible, but that doesn't make that pill any easier to swallow.
a person unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others, right?
Egoist -
a self-centered or selfish person
When someone finds something they want, what they really really want, they'd make it happen, right? By any means necessary? Is it worth risking everything? The hopeless romantic in me says yes, but that's conditioning from years and years of movies. The fact of the matter is life does not follow structure - (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dramatic_structure.)
Nothing necessarily finishes happily when the credits roll, as there are no credits. We have to face our consequences over and over again. The grand dramatic gesture, followed by a moment of success, then a resolution that everything ends happily? Nope, not what happens. That grand gesture works, but here's the secret; you're not John Cusack. I know, I know! Shock and amazement! Reality and circumstances don't always fall into place.
Where am I going with this? Extremes don't win out, and in the human condition we compromise for a grander purpose sometimes. Maybe it's avoiding making something difficult even harder on everyone involved (heh, almost typed "love" there) and sucking it up, avoiding the pitfalls and consequences as best we can by compromising what we put ourselves through to get us there in the first place. No belaboring a point, no beating a dead horse, accepting whatever happens and just moving on as quickly as possible. The higher calling of avoiding lots of tears, lots of awkward silences, causing the person we care about pain by making things hard for them; being selfish for our own desires about them. Counterproductive to caring about the person, isn't it? By letting them go, do we show how much we really value them by honoring their own desires, sacrificing our own? There's a part of me that says it's a two-way street, but what can I say... I'm hopeless when it comes to giving up a piece of myself if I think it'd make something easier for someone I care about. I'm a big boy, and in the big picture none of this is that terrible, but that doesn't make that pill any easier to swallow.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I'm sure there's a meme for this somewhere...
Last week I watched "High Fidelity" again, and if you recall from a few years ago I wrote - http://pleasandthankyous.blogspot.com/2005/12/that-which-we-treasure-mix-tape.html
Here's the deal: they do all these lists in the movie about music and I started thinking and wondered how a soundtrack would be to various stages/aspects of my life up to this point. Major events, not so major, idiosyncracies I never fixed... whatever. Combine it with some choice photos and I might be onto something, kinda how "Garden State" worked with its own soundtrack(still one of the best mixings of music/movie IMO, next to "Kill Bill").
Without further adieu, here we go:
Birth - "Circle of Life" from the Lion King, the non-Elton John version (boomshuffle only had that though)
Growing up Montage - "Three" From "Saturday Morning Cartoons" (Yes, the Blind Melon version), "Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor (Cheesy!)
16th Birthday - "Freshmen" by the Verve Pipe (1st song I heard at 12 AM, Feb 19th)
17, when I got my license - "Hey Driver" by Lucky Boys Confusion
When Dad passed away - "My Father's Eyes" by Eric Clapton/Amazing Grace on bagpipes
Standing on a dock, looking over the atlantic ocean in D.C. during our 8th grade trip - "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis
18 and graduation from High School - "School's Out"/"Yesterday"/"It's so hard to say goodbye to Yesterday" -Alice Cooper/The Beatles/Boyz II Men (respectively)
Going away to college - "Ready to Go" - Republica
My study abroad - "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys
The numerous women where I'd failed:
High School -
"King of Wishful thinking" - Fine Young Cannibals
"Hole in my Soul" - Aerosmith
"What it Takes" - Aerosmith
"Angel" - Aerosmith
(anyone see a pattern here, I was a BIT of a sad sack back in the day)
"Always" - Bon Jovi
Basically my whole high school experience-
"Creep" - Radiohead
College -
"She's got a girlfriend now" - Reel Big Fish(?)
"I walk Alone" - Oleander
"Here I Go Again" - White Snake
"Bartender" - T-Pain
Post-College - (Non-failing years; see the pattern?)
"Sexual Healing" - Marvin gaye
"Not a Virgin Anymore" - Poe
"Best of me" - Starting Line
"Collide" - Howie Day
"Just what I needed" - The Cars
"Better that we Break" - Maroon 5
"Gotta get through this" - Daniel Bedingfield
"If you're not the one" - Daniel Bedingfield
"I miss you" - Incubus
"Best of You" - Foo Fighters
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" - The Police
"Just my imagination" - The Temptations
"I'll be there" - Jackson 5
"You really got a hold on me" - Smokey Robinson
"She is Beautiful" - Andrew W.K.
"Something about us" - Daft Punk
..... Maybe I'll just cut it off there...?
When I go to Anime Central:
"Pure Imagination" - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (yes, the Gene Wilder version!)
First post- College Job:
"I don't wanna work, I just want to bang on the drum all Day" - Todd Rundgren
"Hell's Bells" - AC/DC
Next(Better) Post-College Job - "Amazing" - Aerosmith
Currently:
"Good Life" - Kanye West (Summertime chi? Totally there!)
"Homecoming" - Kanye West (Fireworks on Lake Michigan)
As for my Nearest and Dearest - "The Last Spartan" from Halo... it's how we roll.
Random Debauchery:
"Shake ya Tailfeather" - Nelly and Co.
"It's Getting Hot in Herre" - Nelly
"This is how we do it" - Montell Jordan
"Shout" - Otis Redding
"It don't matter" - Akon
There's always some musical association as far back as I can tell. "How do you talk to an angel" and "If you go" even, but those were way before I saw what I did there. I've been making mix tapes since I was 6, and much like that Boyz II Men video I used to always feel someone expressed my feelings even better than I did. And the harmony, rhyme, musical ability they had over mine didn't hurt either. It's such a weird thing when I sit down and look at how affected I've been all these years through all the fads and trends, there's usually always something from anywhere, any time, that will dig itself into my brain and just sit there, triggering the next time I get nostalgic. Go figure! I was once told that music is soundwaves and objective; we form the associations but those aren't necessarily true all the time (see: Minor scales). In some way, one could say with these songs I'll write my own story... even if they're not with my own words.
In case anyone wanted to listen to some of the tracks above, thanks to boomshuffle I can at least provide an idea of what it'd sound like :)
Here's the deal: they do all these lists in the movie about music and I started thinking and wondered how a soundtrack would be to various stages/aspects of my life up to this point. Major events, not so major, idiosyncracies I never fixed... whatever. Combine it with some choice photos and I might be onto something, kinda how "Garden State" worked with its own soundtrack(still one of the best mixings of music/movie IMO, next to "Kill Bill").
Without further adieu, here we go:
Birth - "Circle of Life" from the Lion King, the non-Elton John version (boomshuffle only had that though)
Growing up Montage - "Three" From "Saturday Morning Cartoons" (Yes, the Blind Melon version), "Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor (Cheesy!)
16th Birthday - "Freshmen" by the Verve Pipe (1st song I heard at 12 AM, Feb 19th)
17, when I got my license - "Hey Driver" by Lucky Boys Confusion
When Dad passed away - "My Father's Eyes" by Eric Clapton/Amazing Grace on bagpipes
Standing on a dock, looking over the atlantic ocean in D.C. during our 8th grade trip - "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis
18 and graduation from High School - "School's Out"/"Yesterday"/"It's so hard to say goodbye to Yesterday" -Alice Cooper/The Beatles/Boyz II Men (respectively)
Going away to college - "Ready to Go" - Republica
My study abroad - "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys
The numerous women where I'd failed:
High School -
"King of Wishful thinking" - Fine Young Cannibals
"Hole in my Soul" - Aerosmith
"What it Takes" - Aerosmith
"Angel" - Aerosmith
(anyone see a pattern here, I was a BIT of a sad sack back in the day)
"Always" - Bon Jovi
Basically my whole high school experience-
"Creep" - Radiohead
College -
"She's got a girlfriend now" - Reel Big Fish(?)
"I walk Alone" - Oleander
"Here I Go Again" - White Snake
"Bartender" - T-Pain
Post-College - (Non-failing years; see the pattern?)
"Sexual Healing" - Marvin gaye
"Not a Virgin Anymore" - Poe
"Best of me" - Starting Line
"Collide" - Howie Day
"Just what I needed" - The Cars
"Better that we Break" - Maroon 5
"Gotta get through this" - Daniel Bedingfield
"If you're not the one" - Daniel Bedingfield
"I miss you" - Incubus
"Best of You" - Foo Fighters
"Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" - The Police
"Just my imagination" - The Temptations
"I'll be there" - Jackson 5
"You really got a hold on me" - Smokey Robinson
"She is Beautiful" - Andrew W.K.
"Something about us" - Daft Punk
..... Maybe I'll just cut it off there...?
When I go to Anime Central:
"Pure Imagination" - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (yes, the Gene Wilder version!)
First post- College Job:
"I don't wanna work, I just want to bang on the drum all Day" - Todd Rundgren
"Hell's Bells" - AC/DC
Next(Better) Post-College Job - "Amazing" - Aerosmith
Currently:
"Good Life" - Kanye West (Summertime chi? Totally there!)
"Homecoming" - Kanye West (Fireworks on Lake Michigan)
As for my Nearest and Dearest - "The Last Spartan" from Halo... it's how we roll.
Random Debauchery:
"Shake ya Tailfeather" - Nelly and Co.
"It's Getting Hot in Herre" - Nelly
"This is how we do it" - Montell Jordan
"Shout" - Otis Redding
"It don't matter" - Akon
There's always some musical association as far back as I can tell. "How do you talk to an angel" and "If you go" even, but those were way before I saw what I did there. I've been making mix tapes since I was 6, and much like that Boyz II Men video I used to always feel someone expressed my feelings even better than I did. And the harmony, rhyme, musical ability they had over mine didn't hurt either. It's such a weird thing when I sit down and look at how affected I've been all these years through all the fads and trends, there's usually always something from anywhere, any time, that will dig itself into my brain and just sit there, triggering the next time I get nostalgic. Go figure! I was once told that music is soundwaves and objective; we form the associations but those aren't necessarily true all the time (see: Minor scales). In some way, one could say with these songs I'll write my own story... even if they're not with my own words.
In case anyone wanted to listen to some of the tracks above, thanks to boomshuffle I can at least provide an idea of what it'd sound like :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
It's a tricky, tricky thing!
Imagine if you will; you're blowing off some steam hanging out with your nearest and dearest, when you see her. You don't even know her name, but for whatever aesthetic reason you want to approach her and get to know who she is. You'd like to go out on a date, have a dance, whatever. But you've only just seen her; and she has no idea who you are. (I speak only from the perspective of a heterosexual male trying to pick up a lady; the other permutations I know not.) Do you approach? Do you take a stab at Awesome? Or do you risk creepy factor and a police beatdown? Rejection followed by the eyeroll? Well, just go over there and use the tried and true-
"Hey girl, what YO name IS?"
Well, not really. At least, for the love of God, not THAT.
Pickup lines aside, isn't the scenario above pretty common? Taking a shot at approaching a girl, much less having her NOT throw her drink in your face or worse yet, make you feel creepy just for saying hi? I've seen lawyer douchebags pick up on cute girls with the silliest things- one guy used a stick figure with a huge set of hooters; he got a phone number. If I pulled that, know what I'd get? A slap in the face for being so damn arrogant, uncouth, and cocky (maybe not with those exact words, though). Although in his position I guess it's rationalized as confidence. And that he looks like a lawyer. Or investment banker. Either way, not my usual attire. I'm more than willing to accept that though since that is the image I'm purveying when I go out to relax.
A guy who is funny, charming, witty... none of it (really) matters if the visual representation isn't there, at least not in the Night Life. It seems an elementary concept, but do we really want a girl who'll judge based on looks so we don't even get our foot in the door? To be fair, does a girl really want a guy who doesn't think enough to dress well when he steps out the door? In clubs and bars, usually we lose out because we can't be heard. Oh boy, that's about 70% of the battle right there.
From a natural perspective, I guess it's just how things are. Birds and insects have their own ways of attracting a mate; plumage or dancing. Hell, if you think about it humans are just following the rules. Tribal peoples! Ours is just a different side of the same coin.
I've heard a number of places are poor situations to try and chat up a female- the gym, church, family parties *banjo*... but even at bars, house parties, the grocery store one can talk to someone they're interested in but it is still a tricky bit to pull off! Mainly because in a situation like this, it's the first impression that definitely matters and to be honest ladies, would you rather be approached by this:
or this?
'Nuff said! Pass the hair product?
"Hey girl, what YO name IS?"
Well, not really. At least, for the love of God, not THAT.
Pickup lines aside, isn't the scenario above pretty common? Taking a shot at approaching a girl, much less having her NOT throw her drink in your face or worse yet, make you feel creepy just for saying hi? I've seen lawyer douchebags pick up on cute girls with the silliest things- one guy used a stick figure with a huge set of hooters; he got a phone number. If I pulled that, know what I'd get? A slap in the face for being so damn arrogant, uncouth, and cocky (maybe not with those exact words, though). Although in his position I guess it's rationalized as confidence. And that he looks like a lawyer. Or investment banker. Either way, not my usual attire. I'm more than willing to accept that though since that is the image I'm purveying when I go out to relax.
A guy who is funny, charming, witty... none of it (really) matters if the visual representation isn't there, at least not in the Night Life. It seems an elementary concept, but do we really want a girl who'll judge based on looks so we don't even get our foot in the door? To be fair, does a girl really want a guy who doesn't think enough to dress well when he steps out the door? In clubs and bars, usually we lose out because we can't be heard. Oh boy, that's about 70% of the battle right there.
From a natural perspective, I guess it's just how things are. Birds and insects have their own ways of attracting a mate; plumage or dancing. Hell, if you think about it humans are just following the rules. Tribal peoples! Ours is just a different side of the same coin.
I've heard a number of places are poor situations to try and chat up a female- the gym, church, family parties *banjo*... but even at bars, house parties, the grocery store one can talk to someone they're interested in but it is still a tricky bit to pull off! Mainly because in a situation like this, it's the first impression that definitely matters and to be honest ladies, would you rather be approached by this:
or this?
'Nuff said! Pass the hair product?
Monday, April 07, 2008
Identity? What Identity?
Anyone who's been out with me has come to see that when I drink, a couple things might happen; I'll either pass out early, or somebody else shows up at the party. And by somebody else I mean a whole 'nother way I operate. Personality wise. Far as I can tell, there's Jamal(?) my south-side influenced black male personality that nearly made my friends crash the automobile from laughter. In addition to him, the more prevalent personality would have to be... Captain Awesome. I don't even know where he came from, but after imbibing alcohol I become a lot funnier (according to witnesses), a lot more shameless (if that were possible) and a lot more perceptive/intelligent. Who knew?
As far as drunken personalities go, it could be a lot worse.
"Drunk lips speak sober truths" as the saying goes. I know a lot of people who put their misbehavior onto drinking. Not an excuse, but a reason. At least in my case, I've never been terrible, I get a good conversation and a dance, but never anything to do with a walk of shame the next day. But these are our inner ids, right? Our basest most natural instincts and impulses? Where can we draw the line between who we are and what we are, if that makes any sense? After drinking everything falls down, true colors can show. But then again, it's also our choices in action that can define our selves... each choice being a chiseled piece off the raw marble block that constitutes ourselves. Not like it's a big deal, but I find myself combining more and more of the Captain into my conscious, sober self. Knowing what I can do is starting to affect what I am willing to do, apparently.
Meh, if anything I guess deep down I'm a fearless, intelligent, funny person. I can live with that.
As far as drunken personalities go, it could be a lot worse.
"Drunk lips speak sober truths" as the saying goes. I know a lot of people who put their misbehavior onto drinking. Not an excuse, but a reason. At least in my case, I've never been terrible, I get a good conversation and a dance, but never anything to do with a walk of shame the next day. But these are our inner ids, right? Our basest most natural instincts and impulses? Where can we draw the line between who we are and what we are, if that makes any sense? After drinking everything falls down, true colors can show. But then again, it's also our choices in action that can define our selves... each choice being a chiseled piece off the raw marble block that constitutes ourselves. Not like it's a big deal, but I find myself combining more and more of the Captain into my conscious, sober self. Knowing what I can do is starting to affect what I am willing to do, apparently.
Meh, if anything I guess deep down I'm a fearless, intelligent, funny person. I can live with that.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Jerks!
If there's one key rule I live by, it's that no matter what I'm doing to never hold back. This first occurred to me when I would step onto a dance floor. If you don't realize you're having spasms, then maybe everyone else won't either! Maybe this is more of an "Emperor's New Clothes" kind of mentality. When I dance, there's a lot of kicking and finger pointing involved. If I held back it led to being out of rhythm, and going halfway through movements, stuttering, accentuated spasms, and otherwise making it even more evident I had no idea what in the world I was doing out there.
With newfound determination, mustering up the confidence at least led to me looking at least like a silly dancer. Who played a lot of DDR. At least one of those 2 are correct.
That applies to all sorts of things in life, as I found out. When you go out on a date, have a job interview, talk to a group of strangers... confidence. All-out, no reservations and no inhibitions.
The confidence itself comes (for me) from a few places. Making a decision, staying committed to the decision, and not getting bogged down in what-if situations. Not doing any of that leads to second-guessing. It'll throw you off your baseline state and you're somebody else, not the 100% natural person. That kind of failure can be the worst... when you know you did not give it your all and came up short. When you really do let yourself down. Self-sabotage, straight up.
Nevermind other humans smell fear. Oh lord, the women are the best at that. You provide a measure of low self-esteem the next thing you know you're picking up their calls at 2AM about a booty-call gone wrong and taking them shopping. Which you're paying for. And you're a guy they're not dating. It's easier said than done to have this mythical confidence for sure, but a couple of mental reminders and knowing that NO ONE deserves to be treated like a doormat are things to keep in mind. It leads to a higher quality of living and being more appreciative of things you find yourself in, as well as being more fun by not holding back and being a wet rag.
Bottom line is... be proud of yourself. And not a jerk. Don't be jerks, guys.
With newfound determination, mustering up the confidence at least led to me looking at least like a silly dancer. Who played a lot of DDR. At least one of those 2 are correct.
That applies to all sorts of things in life, as I found out. When you go out on a date, have a job interview, talk to a group of strangers... confidence. All-out, no reservations and no inhibitions.
The confidence itself comes (for me) from a few places. Making a decision, staying committed to the decision, and not getting bogged down in what-if situations. Not doing any of that leads to second-guessing. It'll throw you off your baseline state and you're somebody else, not the 100% natural person. That kind of failure can be the worst... when you know you did not give it your all and came up short. When you really do let yourself down. Self-sabotage, straight up.
Nevermind other humans smell fear. Oh lord, the women are the best at that. You provide a measure of low self-esteem the next thing you know you're picking up their calls at 2AM about a booty-call gone wrong and taking them shopping. Which you're paying for. And you're a guy they're not dating. It's easier said than done to have this mythical confidence for sure, but a couple of mental reminders and knowing that NO ONE deserves to be treated like a doormat are things to keep in mind. It leads to a higher quality of living and being more appreciative of things you find yourself in, as well as being more fun by not holding back and being a wet rag.
Bottom line is... be proud of yourself. And not a jerk. Don't be jerks, guys.
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